this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
