I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize