I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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