there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
