so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
