guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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