Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she peed on how many people?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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