If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
