I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm like, not good at living.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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