I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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