If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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