How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
