Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
