3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
