He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
