Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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