At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
