I got chris browned last night
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
