Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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