hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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