We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
