Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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