I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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