she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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