The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She bit a glass in half.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
