I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
