I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She's the barista slut.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize