Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
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