First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
