I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
