Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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