All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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