:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
