Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
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Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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