Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize