Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"