We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.