The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!