This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.