Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car