I just threw up on my dentist
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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