you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
