ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
