Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
