my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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