My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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