small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
