When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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