Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
