fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
