no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize