you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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