Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
