Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize