school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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