I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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