his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
